It’s a popular sentiment these days: “Find your tribe,” but what does it really mean?

It means finding the group of people that resonate best with you, that represent the good in you that you want to be.

Here’s why it’s important:

I like to think of each of us as a building-block tower.  Each skill we learn — whether it be a social skill, a step in self growth, or a professional skill — is one more block stacked directly on top of the rest.  We can accumulate a great many skills, stacking them each on top of the other, but the taller such tower is, the more it wobbles, and it will eventually tumble down.

Many of us learned the solution as toddlers: a pyramid or a tower with a wide base is always sturdier than a tower of singly stacked blocks.  But the way we stack our skills is straight up… so what are we to do?

Well, each of us is made of blocks, and if I use my blocks to help stabilize your blocks, your blocks will help stabilize my blocks.

This is what a Tribe is: it’s people who are similar to you, learning the same things, and adding the same blocks.  Your towers are of similar height, and you push them up against one another to provide stability. When one of you has a bad day and starts to wobble, the others are there to hold you up.

Let’s put it another way:

Each of us has the capacity to grow and grow and grow.  What’s hard is that in order to grow, we must face challenges.  Challenges can be tough, like really tough, and sometimes they might just knock us to the ground.  But the best way to navigate a challenge, or maybe to put yourself back together after a bad one, (other than a positive attitude and a healthy dose of gumption) is to have a friend or mentor who is facing the challenge right along with you.

The importance of finding your tribe, instead of just any old people, is you are really looking for people around the same level as you, you have the same values as you, and who do understand the challenges you are facing.

I’ve been extremely fortunate to be part of many tribes in my lifetime — as a student facing student-problems, as a professional facing professional-problems, and most recently I’ve found a tribe in the Brain-Soul Mastermind facing more deep inner challenges.  In all of my tribes, we have shared a same language, a same value, a same goal or aim, and a same vulnerability. Most importantly, these tribes have shaped who I am, and have helped me grow to incredible heights.

So, when we say, “find your tribe,” what we’re really saying is find the people who will support you, who will understand you, who are at the same level as you and heading in the same direction as you.  Without my tribes, without the people around me supporting my ever-growing tower, I think I would have crumbled a long time ago. So find your tribe. Find the people who will hold your blocks up, no matter how tall it grows.


Dr. Charlotte MacFarlane is a holistic veterinarian, award-winning fiction author, and health and wellness blogger from Alberta, Canada.  For more health and wellness articles and to join the healing team, check out Happy-ology.com.  Her fiction can be found on Amazon or through your local bookseller.

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